What the hell is love?

I've been thinking about love.

When I was a teenager I became addicted to books by a writer called Lisa Jane Smith. I started reading, thinking that she was a young adult horror writer (the library labelling) but I soon enough found she wrote supernatural romance. I kept my obsession with her quite quiet. Most of her books focused on the idea of soulmates.

Seems insane to think that out there, there is one perfect person just made for you. I think it's natural to want that in some ways, something solid and unconditional. I'm sure in fact that unconditional love is probably bad for the soul - to have someone put up with anything and everything you decide to do? I doubt most people would mentally grow past the turbulence of their teens if this was the case. There would be more violence domestically for one. People can be selfish.

So, anyway. I guess I'm not really sure why I'm writing this or what my point is entirely. I was thinking though, although I don't believe in love as a magical zap - two people linked - can't be otherwise sort of way, there are millions and millions of people in the world. There's going to be at least one that ticks all the boxes you need surely? And people do pick favourites in life, it's pretty much guaranteed in my mind that someone would come out on top as 'the one', the best. And with that, well, personal relationships are forged on interaction and joint chemistry. The best fun to be had is with someone who is genuinely having fun with you. In my mind this makes it highly likely that if you do find 'the one' for you, the very fact you're happy with them is likely reflected. Maybe that's what makes a soulmate.

I guess this weighing up the odds approach isn't very romantic at all to most people. But I think it's better than the conventional daydream of - zap - connection - love. Because, well loving the right person may not be a choice per se, but it's a nicer thought to think there is a choice there. You can love someone because they make you happy, because they are kind or funny or strong. Because they always look on the bright side or actually regret it if they ever make you hurt. It beats up winding up with the villians of lifes story just 'because it's meant to be'. I think I'd rather be unromantic and love for a reason than be a romantic and love just 'because'.

People equate drama with love - we fight because there's passion. Maybe, maybe not. I always thought being happy was the start of love and indeed, the finish to strive for.

Well that's a mess of something I've been thinking about lately. I'm not even sure it follows well, I won't read it because I'll probably delete it from the embarrassment of the ramble. It's time I posted something I've been thinking about rather than directly book related things.